Ignorance is something that is hard for me to tolerate.......

I was watching the news tonight and one of the stories really shocked me and made my insides turn. It was a story about one of our fallen men. One of our beloved boys. Someone who gave there life fighting for you and me. He fought so that we could have the things that we cherish so much today. The security we have......what makes us American....reasons people from all over the world spend their entire lives just to get to our country so that they may have a better life.....this man was a part of it. He died in Iraq and was from Ascension Parish. There is a church called Westboro Baptist and members of the church travel around and protest at our fallen heroes funerals. Yes, that's what they do. And they think God wants them to do that. I have never in my life heard of something so disrespectful. It hurts my heart to think of these family members having to go through the pain of the death of a loved one to only have their funeral crashed by people who try to lessen the lives that these brave men and women lived. This church.....now, this is a church remember, they have a website. The name of their website is www.godhatesfags.com. I cringe when I look at this and think of the children's minds that are being molded by these ignorant fools. How can these people think that this is what God wants? How can these people walk up to these funerals...belittle the lives of these men and women....and then walk away and not feel any remorse for the hurt they have caused. Ugh! I don't think I'll ever understand the mentality of poor souls like these people. And better yet, they call these pickets....Love Crusades. It really makes me sick. On their website, they talk of this soldier and how he died in shame - not honor and how he will be going to hell with his soldier pals. Even typing that just now makes me want to vomit. So please, just know that we should be proud to be Americans. I don't care if you are for the war or against it. This is your country and people are dying for you every day so that you can have RIGHTS. Don't spit in their face when their time in this world is over. It's just not right. It's flat out disrespectful. God loves us and doesn't want us to hurt....this is not what He wants.

My best friend had a Caidence!

Caidence was born on January 25th 2007 at 6:13pm. She was 7.4lbs and 19 3/4 inches. Oh, and my best friend, Paige, gave birth to this beautiful precious being. It was so overwhelming to me! I mean, I knew she was having a baby...but OH MY GOSH!!! SHE HAD A BABY!!!! She had a Caidence. Everything was scheduled...I knew ahead of time. But man, nothing could have prepared me for this. It was truly a touching experience. I remember driving down to the hospital at about 8..8:30am.....and being led to Paige's room. Now, granted my aunt gave me DROWSY medicine shortly after I arrived....I still think I would have felt like a zombie. It's strange, but I felt as though I had showed up late for everything. I just kinda sat back....watching and listening....taking it all in.....when before I know it, it's over! Everything was in slow motion and then BAM! it's over. It was all so surreal to me. Here I am, watching my best friend lying in a hospital bed, having contractions, about to give birth to her daughter. I have never been at such a loss for words.

At one point, she had stayed at 2 or 3 cm for about 7 hours or so....and the doctor told her that they would have to make a decision at 5:00pm on whether or not to have a C-Section. Lindsey told me that Paige was crying....she was scared and did not want to have the C-Section. Oh my gosh...my heart just broke. If it could have been possible, I would have loved nothing more than to just take away all her fear....stress....pain. So, Lindsey and I went and found the Chapel at the hospital. We walked up to the front...got down on our knees...held hands....and Lindsey said a beautiful prayer. In the middle of it, tears just started running down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. All I could say was "I hate that she's scared". See.....Paige, well, she is my rock. She doesn't get scared...or stressed...and really, she's not usually in pain. She's a soldier. She's the one who helps me when I'm scared or stressed....and I need her a lot. But to have the roles reversed...it was different for me. But the outcome was well worth it!!! And Paige said it wasn't bad after all.

Right before she gave birth to Caidence, she started having back labor...and she was in so much pain! And I had to look away so many times and fight my tears back because it really bothered me to see her hurting. She went from 5cm to having a baby....in an hour and a half. And here I am....just frozen. I mean, I had 9 months to prepare for this moment......and I had nothing! Hahaha, I think back...and I had no words of wisdom, no words of encouragement....I just sat there in amazement. When the pager went off letting us know she had the baby and it was ok for us to go back and see her....my heart felt like it may explode. OH MY GOSH!!! I'M ABOUT TO MEET PAIGE'S DAUGHTER!!!!!!!! Still saying that....Paige's Daughter....it's amazingly beautiful.

When I laid my eyes on Caidence....she was this calm, alert, bundle of joy. She was moving her eyes all around the room. And for the third time that day...I cried. But this time my tears were of pure joy. Really, I can't even explain it. I wouldn't do it justice. She was beautiful. And this is the little girl who will be calling me Bebe. All these thoughts were going through my head. Like, wow, I can't wait until we can talk!!! She's going to be my buddy! I can't wait to tell her how awesome her mother is!!! I want to protect her. It's funny b/c I have never felt an instant love like this before in my life. My aunts have made such a positive impact on my life...and I want to make sure I do the same for Caidence. I want to be here if she needs me and even if she doesn't need me. I want to be someone she can look up to and respect.

So, in ending this...I'm about to go hang out with my girl....Caidence. But I want to say how proud I was of Paige at that moment when I saw her holding her little girl. I was filled with so much admiration for her....and pride. So proud to say...This is my best friend and cousin and her daughter!!!! It was as though she was superwoman and just conquered the world. When I left the hospital I felt so honored that I was able to be a part of this little miracle. Paige and I are very close...and we have always planned our lives together almost. We were always on the same track....the same path. And now...she has passed me up a little bit. I just feel sorry for when I have children one day b/c they are going to have some mighty big shoes to fill after Caidence!!

P.S. I haven't said much about Blaine...but let me just tell you that he was so loving. The entire time he had this unmistakable grin on his face that you couldn't wipe off if you tried. He is going to be a great dad. They are going to be family filled with blessings and love.