Walking away............

When is it strength that makes you walk away and when is it weakness that makes you walk away?

I have no idea the answer to this question. But for some reason looking at this picture of me walking away.....makes me sad. I guess it's just not in me to walk away....without turning around to make sure things are ok. I am a walking case of emotions......One of the heavy burdens I carry is that of guilt......if things went wrong.....I feel prompted to carry the blame. I am not even talking about anything in particular.....just in general. I'm one of those "I'm sorry" girls - I remember in high school, people would tell me to quit saying I was sorry........hahaha. It didn't matter what it was.....I was sorry for it.

One of the things I am trying to work on is that.....things in life....well, they don't always go the way you want them too....and it's not always your fault either. I don't know why this is so hard for me. But it is. I am tired of getting so worked up over the things that go wrong that I'm unable to enjoy the beautiful things that do go right. For instance......enjoying an imperfect love - which is all there is. I just want to enjoy it so much.......but I struggle. Ahhhh I don't even know what I'm trying to say now.....so I'll just leave it at that............

Pondering something I'm sure.......

I am a thinker.....a wonderer... I can't help it. It is what it is. And to be quite honest with you. I love it. Something I want to talk about are these damn dance classes. Right before I have to go.....I am thinking....sheeesh, I just want to cancel. But afterwards, I feel like this goddess who has conquered the world of Cha Cha. hahahah. One of the little ladies told me tonight that she can tell how much I have improved by watching how my body just sways across the dance floor. Awwww. It really touched my heart. I gave her a hug. She deserved it. I am a FIRM believer in the "hug". You can tell a lot about someone in the way he/she hugs. I like to feel my hugs from my bitty toes to my hair tips. That's a good hug. When you think of it.....when a good hug is given.....it shows, you can feel it, that not only do you not want to let go but that this person is someone who you have missed in your life....or you will miss in your life. For instance, I hug my grandmother with so much feeling that I embrace her in everything that I am - for she will truly be missed when I can't hug her like that one day......the same goes for my parents, best friends, my husband. And not many people are huggers like that. And I tell you that when I get a hug like that.....It makes me feel so unbelievably loved.....b/c I know what these hugs mean. So next time you hug someone......make sure they FEEL it.....otherwise it's just a pat on the back that, well, means nothing.