Oh my wow....I'm crying right now

I am reading that devotional book that I wrote about in my last post and I just looked up December 20th - the day maw maw passed away and it is very similar to what I wrote on this day - for her funeral.

"Made by the Master"

" You knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13

"Knitted together" is how the psalmist described the process of God making man. Not manufactured or mass-produced, but knitted. Each thread of personality tenderly intertwined. Each string of temperament deliberately selected.
God as creator. Pensive. Excited. Inventive.
An artist, brush on pallet, seeking the perfect shade.
A composer, fingers on keyboard, listening for the exact chord.
A poet, pen poised on paper, awaiting the precise word. The Creator, the master weaver, threading together the soul.
Each one different. No two alike. None identical.

Wow.....

Grace for the moment....

I was picking up a bit around the house and I found a book lodged under a stack of other books. It's called Grace for the moment - by Max Lucado. When my maw maw was in HealthSouth rehabilitation across the street from where I use to work I went over there and stayed the night with her. I read to her from this book - it's a daily devotional. Maw maw would recall birthdays of her loved ones and I would read that date for her. The book was bookmarked between July 7th and 8th. My cousin Holly is really strong in my mind - she passed away as a baby, but I am pretty sure this is her birthday. Let me share with you these two devotionals...the last I read to her.

I am feeling strong about July 8th so here it is......

Endure to the End

"Those people who keep their faith until the end will be saved." Matthew 10:22

Are you close to quitting? Please don't do it. Are you discouraged as a parent? Hang in there. Are you weary with doing good? Do just a little more. Are you pessimistic about your job? Roll up your sleeves and go at it again. No communication in your marriage? Give it one more shot........
Remember, a finisher is not one with no wounds or weariness. Quite to the contrary, he, like the boxer, is scarred and bloody. Mother Teresa is credited with saying, "God didn't call us to be successful, just faithful." The fighter, like our Master, is pierced and full of pain. He, like Paul, may even be bound and beaten. But he remains.
The Land of Promise, says Jesus, awaits those who endure. It is not just for those who make the victory laps or drink champagne. No sir. The Land of Promise is for those who simply remain to the end.

I guess I could take some advice from this. I have went against everything I see here. Close to quitting? Yes. Discouraged as a parent? Certainly. Weary with doing good? Getting there. Pessimistic about your job? Uh. No communication in your marriage? Divorced in April - what do you think?

I just wish something would click already! I remember being on the phone with her when I had started having problems in my marriage and this shriek she gave me followed by a "why are you doing this to me?" - I'm sorry maw maw - I will do better.