When 1 + 1 doesn't = 2

Doesn't really make sense, huh? 1 + 1 should ALWAYS = 2. I think so. And when it doesn't......I struggle with trying to MAKE it. As I've said before....I just can't stand it when things don't go the way they are suppose to go. It sets me off balance and makes me feel all weird. I wish I could just write down on pieces of paper all of the different things I want and don't want....then put it in a hat and POOF.....there it is. My little world of perfect.

Actually, I don't need perfect. I just need something to feel comfortable in. Maybe it's just my own skin I need to be comfortable with. I wonder if you are okay with yourself, if you can be okay with anything? Wow.......that would be amazing.

I am a passionate person.....if I feel something.....it shows. Now, I'm a pushover. Big time. However, I'm so emotional that if I feel strongly about something....well, you get the picture. And I think that is one of the reasons I carry a lot of hurt.

Subject change:

I think that everyone placed in our paths were specifically put there to mold us in some way. Not just to learn about them but to learn about ourselves. I wish I always understood the lesson though. Tough times warrant crying and hurt feelings. And I don't seem to ever learn that lesson. And it always hurts just the same. Silly me.

I'm going through something right now. And a lot of things are becoming apparent to me. Always treat other people lovingly.....that's the way you want to be treated, right? You can't expect to be loved if you don't show love.

I wonder if there is anything louder than the sound of someone you love packing up there things and leaving. Sounds such as that have to be piercing.


Wow....ok, subject change real quick. I just looked down at my hands as they were typing. I have old hands. Sheesh they look exceptionally old right now.

Why?

Am I the only one who thinks that Darth Vader looks like a penis? It has always reminded me of that!!!!!

Borba, that's for you! You are in love with a penis!

Pay attention!!!!

Phew! Paying attention is sooooooo hard to do, especially when you have to pay attention to every little thing that you do and every little thing that you see....that you experience....everything that just simple..."is". Here's a question......have we ever figured out which was right? The heart or the brain? One is realistic.....and one is passionate for the things it wants. And neither are correct 100% of the time. Ever. So what's it gonna be? This is one of the toughest things and it goes back to my blog that talks about being comfortable in knowing that you DON'T know what is going to come next. I still haven't met that comfort zone. If I listen to my heart.....Lord knows where I'll end up. Some city far away with not a care in the world.....hahaha, sounds fun? Sounds scary to me. Then if I listen to my brain, I'll be stuck in this crap hole of an apartment at a job that is less than perfect wishing my everyday away.....far far away, then I will wish that I would have gone with my heart. Indecisiveness. That is one of the GREAT things about being a Libra. Not really that great.....gives me a headache. So what should I do? Heart or Brain........I know that I am a more passionate person than I am a reality type person (except for the tv shows of course). So that would tell me that I would be more happy following my heart.

Seriously, this is ridiculous! I go through this with every decision. Do I want a ding dong? My heart says....hell yeah you want it! It will be soooooooooo gooooood with a glass of milk. My brian says.....Don't you dare touch it.......you just had TWO!!!! So I go with the brain and don't get the ding dong and later......guess what I'm still wishing I had? The ding dong.

So that's the lesson for today......if you want a ding dong.....for Pete's sake just go eat it......you are still going to want it later. :) hehehehehe