Battle between the heart and mind......

I'm stuck and confused....yes, again. About the whole heart and mind thing. When I think heart....I think happy lovely thoughts.....when I think mind....I think always trying to figure out what's wrong with this picture. I don't want to be a mind person. I like actually being a heart person. It can be soothing at times. Just knowing and having that sense of happiness, that really can be enough for me.....well, it use to. My mind has been racing lately.....bringing things to my attention....telling me I have naive and gullible for ignoring it and going with my heart.

Do you think your heart tells you what you want and your mind tells you what you need? That sounds about right actually.

I am so indecisive....at the store the other day....I bought a coke and a pack a gum and the guy behind the counter asked me if I wanted a bag. A simple question. "Would you like a bag?" My mind started racing.....DO I WANT A BAG???? Uh....I dunno....ummmm, crap, do I need one? It might just end up as some other garbage in my car......I look up and he's waiting on my answer to this in depth question. I answer!!!! Finally!!! I have made a decision!! "No Sir, I would not like a bag, but thank you though"

Phew.....I thought to myself just slightly before I felt like kicking MY OWN ASS. C'mon Beth, really?

So not only do I battle in major bouts of love and war but also in everyday simple decisions. Would you like to go jump off a cliff into a sea of rocks or dive into a crisp glistening cool blue pool? Hmmmmmmmm.......I'VE GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to make a list of all my likes and dislikes and post them so if I automatically know what I like and am comfortable with it......my decision will be made for me.......this is gonna be tough......next post.....here it goes!

Curse of the poo

I walked out my front door and slipped on goose poo. No really, I did. You can see the poo smeared forward where I went for a ride on the poo slide.

It was absolutely disgusting.....and SHOCKING!!!!!!!! Mother Effer!!!!!!!!

And then I notice someone feeding the geese.............perfect, maybe I can find their stash and put some "goose" food in it......WHOOOAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Sorry that may have been a little over the top....

I know it's late......and I have to get up in 4 1/2 hours......

Surprisingly, I can't sleep though. I take Ambien every night around 9:30 or 10:00 and here it is 2am and I can't sleep. So my mind has been racing with things I should and shouldn't do. One of the things, that I have never done but hear that it's the way to go, is to sleep topless. Yep, so tonight is the night. I'm trying it out and if it happens to be the best thing ever, I surely will let you know. So far, I have the blankets up to under my neck. Interesting b/c there is no one in here for to suddenly FLASH.......but maybe I could just pretend. We'll see.

2nd thing that comes to mind are words that I despise. For instance, when I sell a 3 year fixed rate to my customer and they keep coming back about the Adjustable Rate Mortgage. It makes me want to scream.......One more time.....You are fine for the FIRST THREE years.....THEN get out your Vaseline. But the first three years? piece of cake.

Another phrase I don't like is "We'll see." Uggggggggggggg........First of all, basically it means "no". and second of all it's phrase you use when a child is jumping up and down because they want to stop at the candy store on the way home to buy a sucker!!!! And the parents cooley reply and say, "We'll see". So lesson here is "We'll see" = NO.

Possibly sucks too.

I think that when I really don't want to do something with someone I'm going to start saying something like, "There is chance of a freeze tonight so if hell freezes over, count me in"

That's pretty much what you are saying when you say "Possibly" or "We'll See"

Just a thought......"possibily" the wrong one......I guess "we'll see"......................

Enjoy!