The greatest gift of all

At the end of the day....the gift that was
given, was a truly special gift. Each thread
woven with intricate details from her precious
hands. This was something she had been
working on her entire life. To in the end - make
our lives more colorful, more God-like, more like
nothing we had ever known before. What a beautiful
family she put together. A quiet little worker....up until
her final breath. Her entire family, including all siblings,
husband, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren
were such a huge part of her life. She worked
diligently everyday to ensure that we were
walking in the right direction and that we had the
true meaning of family deep within our souls.
As we all gathered to tell her bye, I was
in complete awe at her accomplishments. A family
that if you would have looked at a year ago...you
may have thought we would never be where we
are today. But we stand strong on a foundation
built of God, a foundation shown to us by Maw Maw B.
We are bound by ties that will not break.

Bless you my sweet
angel as you are on your ultimate assignment.
I know you will be watching over each and every
one of us. Thank you for that gift. There never was
and never will be another Maw Maw B. And I think
that anyone who even so much as knew her, received
a bit of that Rosalie Buell blessing.

There were hard
times in the end and a few people spent a lot of time
creating friendships that will never be forgotten while
caring for our precious angel. It was an honor to them.
Nannie (Jeanie Buell) thank you for
being able and willing to take her in to your home and give
her love, care, and friendship that we all know Maw Maw B
thrived on. You took such great loving care of her and we are
all so appreciative. Aunt Rhonda(Rhonda Moore), you put
in a lot of hard work as well, day in and day out. We all know
it was something that was hard to do but you did it
effortlessly. Maw Maw appreciates it and all of us are so
thankful to have you in our lives and that you were able
to do this for us....for Maw Maw. And last, Sharon,
you gave Maw Maw her inspirations each day. You are
such a strong woman. Not only were you strong for
Maw Maw, but bless your heart, you were strong
for all of us hurting family members. From the bottom
of my heart, and Maw Maw's as well, your kindness
did not go unnoticed and without each and every one
of you....this time may have been a bit harder for us.
We love you, We love you, We love you!

Maw Maw B you are the greatest gift of all. You
are loved by so many and gave your love to
probably even more. Thank you for taking the
time to guide us each in the right direction.
Your legacy will live on. We love you.

As I lay dying......

I wonder what you are thinking, how you are feeling.....if you are feeling. I tell you my love and think it even stronger in my mind in hopes that you will feel it. Your frail body getting smaller as I watch you. Your shallow breath weakening even more with every heave of your chest. Bless your kind eyes - for they have seen the world and shown others as well. How can someone so strong and full of life....become lifeless before your very eyes? It's happening.....as I'm typing it could have happened. The last breath taken by a woman who has blessed me just by breathing the same air as her.

Imagine a moment in your life that was absolutely breathtaking. Maybe it's the feeling you get when you wake up on a Saturday morning with little rays of sunshine coming through your windows. Or that feeling you get on that first perfect October morning...the air is crisp, the breeze is cool, the grass is a green you've never seen, and blue sky bounces back at you. Maw Maw B is all of these things. When you take in all the air you can and you can't help but close your eyes as you release it with a grin on your face.

As I sat by her bedside literally watching every move her body made, I tried to find comfort in her, but I couldn't help but worry. Worry about whether or not she felt alone in her travels to heaven. Worry about if she was in any pain. Worry about if she was as frightened as I was. Even though I know the answers to all these things...I still couldn't help it. I wanted to give myself up for all those feelings she may have felt. I just wanted her to have a peaceful journey. My little angel on her way to her place in heaven that has been made specially for her by Him. I then began to think of what an honor it was as I watched her eyelids flickering....who was she seeing? Was she seeing Him?? Was He showing her the way?? Wow...amazing. What if she was seeing her husband for the first time in 29 years? Or mother....her brother...her grandchildren?

A million thoughts......

No, no, no.... I'm not actually going to list a million of my thoughts! I am going to list a few however....

1. When I woke up the other morning to it snowing outside, I could not get over how beautiful the trees looked with each limb neatly draped in soft white snow. The view from inside my car was just as breathtaking. Just a few pockets where the sunlight could come through my windows - I felt like I was nestled in a little cocoon. I can't stop thinking about how I felt while looking at it all.

2. How can I get soooo much pleasure from watching trashy tv? Seriously.

3. It's sad to see stubbornness get in the way of kindness. It hurts my heart to watch.

4. Once a lesson is learned - how long thereafter must you endure pain.

5.

Obviously not a million since I can't seem to form more than 4 single thoughts. Wow.