Rough draft: "Sifting through an unsure life" - Part 2

***continued from Part 1 ***

My dad's family lives in Illinois - that's where he is from. I often regret not having the bond with his family as I do with my mom's side. Dad was such a good looking guy! A good looking guy with a joy for life that beamed from his smile and brilliance that I haven't seen often in my life. My parents were right around 20 when they met and ultimately fell in love. It was right about a year or so after they married that I was born. The story I have been told is that I came home to a blue blanket that said "Jesse". Greeting cards had even been signed "Love Cat, Trent & Jesse". They say that technology wasn't the greatest back then and because my heartbeat was unbelievably strong - I was assumed to be a little boy. So instead of welcoming Jesse into this world on October 18, 1979 - they said hello to an Elizabeth.

I was born with all my fingers and toes in tact, and ears that stuck out like baby Dumbo. In fact, I was called Dumbo for awhile. I don't remember it ever hurting my feelings. Atleast I don't remember ever being referred to by that name in a mean way.

We had a catahoula named Jackie Blue. May have been one of the best dogs ever. Her and I got along just fine. She would place her front paws on my back while I was on my tricycle and would just push me around. Jackie had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. She wasn't much for a mother, however. I remember she had a litter of pups - about 10 or 12 - and decided that she was over it. Buried all of them under my Maw Maw's house. I had to crawl under the house like they do in boot camp...to rescue them. Not long after, she got heartworms and was put to sleep. I think that is the first time I felt what it was like to mourn.

My childhood is everything I could have ever hoped it would be - almost perfect. I was blessed with my best friend - pretty much at birth. How is that possible, you ask? She is my cousin - 11 months apart. She's my wonderful, beautiful, don't-know-where-I'd-be-without-you - Paige. It's hard to explain our bond, especially without sounding creepy. Ha! I truly believe we were meant for each other. I love her like I can't imagine loving anyone else. Our relationship was true and beautiful from the get go. We could entertain ourselves in a ditch with a stick or find peace in silence buried in the grass of an open pasture...watching the clouds go by. Our lives were planned daily and the only stipulation was that we were in it together.

***to be continued***

Rough draft: "Sifting Through An Unsure Life" - Part 1

****This is a little bit of what I have come up with for my book...it's a work in progress - keep that in mind :)*****

What a delight when they came out of the room with an Elizabeth in tot.

My parents didn't have much in their pockets when they decided to get married and create me - but they had something more important than anything money could buy. A loving family that would sacrifice everything they had to make sure they had all they needed. Love.

My mom's dad, Elmo - Paw Paw B, had three houses on the dead end of Shelley Street in North Baton Rouge that he built...with his own two hands. He and Maw Maw B lived in one, we lived in one, and honestly - I was a baby - I don't know who lived in the third one. Family I'm sure. Mom and her dad had a bond that a lot of us have never even came close to with our fathers. They were pure perfection in each others eyes. My mother has told me many times about the days that changed her life...forever. Each time she tells it - she cries just the same.

I believe it was around her birthday - I was only 7 weeks old... She had brought me next door with her to visit with her parents. Paw Paw B kept wanting to hold me. He was sick with a cold and I was so young. The family had been very conscious about germs because my baby cousin, Holly, was extremely sick and very susceptible to becoming sick. She had a rare disease that ultimately took her life. Most people would have to wear a mask when around her. On this particular day, Paw Paw B had his mask in tote and even offered to wear it so that he could hold me in his arms. Maw Maw B wasn't having it. Ha! "Be patient now, there's always tomorrow" is what she would keep telling him. He complied...it wasn't a really big deal. He knew that there was always tomorrow.

The next day, Mom remembers watching her dad pull out the driveway to go to work. It wasn't very long after that she received a call from Maw Maw...clearly upset. Thoughts began to race through her mind and immediately she cried out for precious Holly. "No baby, it's your daddy.", is what she heard on this phone call. My paw paw, just moments before, had a heart attack on his way to work that morning. He had managed to pull his truck onto the shoulder as it was happening so as to not put anyone else in danger. With his truck pulled onto the shoulder, right at Chippewa, he slumped over and passed away.

I don't think my mom has been the same ever since that day. There's an empty spot in her soul that no one has or will ever be able to fill. I never got to know my paw paw b - but I imagine how our relationship would have been all the time.

***to be continued***