I don't get it!

Do you know the saying, "You don't know what you have until its gone."? What's the point in that? If you don't know what you have till it's gone, where's the fun in that? It's true in all aspects of life too...we cannot predict what we do not know. And that is the future. We never know what consequences our actions will have or what would have happened if we chose another path. All we really know is that it will be different in some way. Maybe good, maybe bad....maybe equally fulfilling. But it would be different. I hate not having the answers. Not knowing the outcome of things. Not knowing what comes next. I know that flying by the seat of your pants can be exhilarating, but for me....it just doesn't work. Maybe every once in a while...but living like that? with no order? Never knowing what your next move will be? If I had to live through that forever, I'd look 80 right now instead of 27. And I'd probably have a heart attack too. I'd be a skittish old lady that wet her pants anytime someone so much as said "HI!" to her. I understand not being able to know the outcome of every decision I make, but what I want to know is how do I become comfortable in my not knowing the answers. I say, "I don't know" a lot. Sometimes I think I say it b/c I am in zombie land, and it's an automatic reply that I have myself set on. But when I mean it, how do I become comfortable with it. So, for now, what I am asking for is comfort and peace in knowing that I do not know.

Lessons in Life

I'm reading this book called "Letters to Sam" by Daniel Gottlieb. One of the most powerful books I have read. It's compiled of letters that he wrote to his grandson and each of them has a lesson about life. I'm going to share with you the lessons that really stuck out in my mind.

1. "When you feel different, the feeling can actually change the way you see the world." He began to talk about how it's not BEING different that's the problem, but when we start to feel different. It changes our attitudes of what's good and what's bad.

2. "Missing feels like a sad spot in my heart. It feels so much better than when I was angry with her, or worse, when I didn't let myself feel anything about her. Missing means I love her." I love this. Really, to miss someone is to love someone. To long for their company and companionship. It may hurt to miss someone but it's a powerful emotion that you can find comfort in experiencing.

3. "....no matter what happens to our bodies or our minds, our souls remain whole." This one was important to me b/c it was talking about how we are labeled in life. But really and truly, it doesn't matter if we think differently or look differently.....we are still human. And that's something that will always remain constant. Our bones may be broken....our brain's may not work properly...but deep down, your soul remains untouched - you can't break the soul.

4. "Just remember that when you can't find peace any other way, you might run into it when you hit the wall." I think we are all on our own search for peace. It's all a part of our road map. When you accept things for what they are....and realize that things may not be what you want....it's at that point you allow yourself to find peace. Sometimes you have to battle it out to come to terms with the way things are going to be. And acknowledging that will give you the peace you are searching for.

5. "Confusion is like fertilizer, it feels like crap when it happens, but nothing grows without it." Confusion makes us inquisitive. Makes us curious. Helps us learn. Gives us a want and need for understanding.

6. "Often when we look for answers, we automatically go where the light is better. But sometimes we need to go where it's dark." I like this one b/c all too often we are searching for answers in places that we are already familiar with....the answers won't always be in your comfort zone. When you seek outside the box, you open yourself up to new ideas, new ways of thinking, new ways to understand the world......and you might just find your answer there.



There are more I will give you later.....but I didn't want it to be too long. This is such a good book though. The grandfather is a quadriplegic. And he is Fifty five years old and has been a quadriplegic for 20 years I believe......so he has experienced a thing or two. His letters are being written to his grandson, whom they just find out have autism. It's a beautiful book.!!!!