Just thinking.......

Hello everyone! I know it's been awhile, I don't even know if anyone even looks at this anymore...but just in case, here are my thoughts.

I've felt like a big sap tonight. So many changes lately have taken place in life. And every last one of them has been as scary as hell. Terrifying. Ugh! Nothing like having your world turned upside down to have reality come in to check.

I wonder if you can learn to break a habit. For instance, say you like apples. But apples don't really mesh well with your digestive system....but you keep seeing these apples and you just want them! Do you learn to stay away from the apples and learn to love the oranges? (yes this is a metaphor...maybe even a bad one.) I wonder.....how do you break a trend that isn't good for you? Better yet, let's say that I find an apple, that is good. But after awhile, it messes with my system again. Hahaha, am I confusing you yet? Because I think I just confused myself.

I just moved into an apartment. And it is frightening at times. Sometimes it's exhilarating. Sometimes it's boring. Sometimes I just sit here and wonder, "What are you doing in this apartment?".

So back to my metaphor.

Ok maybe not.

How easy it is to clash into something else,
to make a mark you didn't want to make.
As the words come flowing from my mouth,
I know it is a mistake.

Everyone has their own road map,
one that will guide their every move.
Why does it make me so nervous
that mine won't lead me back to you.

I want to be able to see everything in your eyes
it would be nice to be your something
I'm scared that it's so terribly ruined
That I will only become your nothing