Been awhile.......

This is a pretty good summary of how I am feeling right now. Beautiful picture.......of ever changing life. Seasons change as do people......sometimes you are warm....sometimes you are cold.......sometimes you just feel green. ;) One thing is certain......as with seasons.....they will ALWAYS change. But another piece to this is......bet on yourself changing......know that you will.....never bet on someone else changing - that's a battle of their own.

Oh....the ever changing life. It's good and bad. I have a friend that I haven't seen in over a month and talked to her even less it seems. I know she is busy.......and changing. Her life is changing and unfortunately there is less of me in it. So....I miss her and the point of this story is that it's hard to accept change when only one is changing and it's not done together.

It's not bad to change.....it's human. Just somewhere in the mix it gets a little messed up.

I have changed....in many ways I have changed. Some are positive, however, some are negative. And making the choice at the crossroads where changes are made.....are so darn difficult. So many things to weigh out and measure......what is good? what is bad? I struggle with these things every day.

I use to be a quiet girl.....but now I am quick to air my dirty laundry to anyone and often use curse words. I was never like that. I know others have noticed this in me too. It's like I just gave up on trying to maintain a certain composure and now I just let it out.

I always worry on the future.....not on the present. If I do this or that...how will it effect me in the future? And tsk tsk........I cannot tell my future so the circle of indecisiveness and worries....continue on......in my mind. Phew it's exhausting.

I'll write again soon.....promise!