I'm not sure I know what reality is......

Sometimes I sit back and take in all that is going on around me...take notice.....and then at other times, I am so carefree and just loving life. There are so many things I want out of my life. At this point, I'm not even sure I am going the right way. Everything seems so out of reach. I.....seem out of reach.

I don't think I've written about it yet, but my divorce is final. It was on April 16th. Strange how something you always knew can just all of sudden not exist at all. I'm having trouble dealing with that aspect. Something that at the end of the day, you knew was there. A constant in your life. And now.....I just feel lost. Very very....lost. I'm not sure of anything. I'm not even sure what I'm doing tomorrow. I am 28. Divorced. No children. I do have a job, thank you Jesus. I just don't know where to go from here. Every day passes by so quickly, each second, even faster. Yesterdays memories are now only a flash in my mind.

I feel misjudged. I also feel like I misjudge others. My feelings are the root of all evil, haha. Seriously though. My heart is overflowing with all sorts of emotions. It's pouring out. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm scared I won't be able to find someone to handle me. At times I feel as though I'm too much. Too much to take in.