Okay.....so obviously this isn't really a picture of me....haha

And that wasn't the true title for this blog either.

I live my life by looking through rose colored lenses. The problem is that over the years these lenses have become cracked - and are starting to break. My rosy view is somewhat distorted now.

At what point do you start noticing a problem and stop playing dumb? Because seriously, when you have that feeling, deep in the pit of your stomach - you already know the answer to your question. It's one thing to feel as though someone pulled a quick one on you - it's totally another when this someone(s) happens to be a person you hold so close to your heart. I wish so badly that my rose colored lenses were just that -and they aren't.

What a struggle. I hate that my want and need for others to be good, honest people - gets in the way of what is really going on. Really - it's ridiculous. Tell me the sky ISN'T falling, even while I'm drowning in it. I will believe you. Just because I want to be able to trust you so bad.

So here I am, on paper, admitting a weakness that makes me vulnerable to anyone I ever come in contact with. I may as well lean out the window and inform the entire world that no matter how much knowledge I have - I'm actually not that smart at all.